


Heart to Heart

by LittleNightbird13



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:57:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13172217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleNightbird13/pseuds/LittleNightbird13
Summary: While Hera and the others are all busy elsewhere, Zeb and Kallus have some time together to finally sit and talk about things.....





	Heart to Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I think I speak for a lot of Rebels & Kalluzeb fans when I say that it's ridiculous that we haven't seen Zeb and Kallus interact once so far in S4. Zeb was pretty much the reason that Kallus defected and why he became Fulcrum. You would have thought they'd have a talk at some point about things. So here they are, talking about *gasp* feelings! 
> 
> This fic is for all the Kalluzeb 'shippers. :)
> 
> The line, "Do you ever feel like your future is behind you?" comes from Criminal Minds & is spoken by the character Dr. Spencer Reid.

 It was pretty strange, Zeb mused, as he ambled along barely paying any attention to whatever AP-5 was droning on about, to be all by himself without Hera and Kanan and the others. He was used to being within shouting distance of his friends. Hera spent so much of her time training her pilots, making supply runs, and skirmishing with her squadron that they hardly saw each other. Kanan and Ezra and, _thank the Ashla_ , Chopper, were off attempting to help Sabine free her father from the Empire's clutches. Rex had found new duties better suited to his skillset here on Yavin IV, putting his decades of both military and life experience to use in helping to train up new raw recruits. And as for their newest Spectre, Kallus, he had been fully pardoned by the powers that be and given the rank of a naval captain. It was basically understood that the erstwhile Fulcrum would be putting his skills and talents honed in the ISB to use for the Rebellion.  
  
 "Captain Orrelios?" came AP-5's mechanized voice into his thoughts. "If you are quite finished ignoring me, and I know you have been, I shall take myself off to do something constructive. Inventory is a disgrace and I cannot work in such disorderly conditions. I must find and speak to whomever is in charge. He or she is in _dire_ need of my expertise. I have never seen such a shambles." It shouldn't have been possible for a droid to sound disgusted and condescending, but somehow AP-5 managed it.  
  
 Zeb blinked. "Huh? Uh, yeah. Okay. Good. You do that." AP-5 drove him crazy. He suspected that the fussy, self-important droid was secretly missing his deranged little buddy Chopper. "Have fun with that."  
  
 AP-5 regarded the Lasat for a few seconds before turning and hobbling away to torment whichever poor sod was in charge of Inventory and Supply. Zeb watched him disappear into the throng of Yavin IV's main drag, happy to be rid of him. Likely AP-5 only followed him around because the droid didn't really know anyone else.  
  
 "Well," Zeb said to himself out loud, "best go find somethin' useful to do." None of his duties were set in permacrete. While Hera and the others were away, Zeb was pretty much the go-to guy for whatever might need doing, especially if it required brawn and heavy-lifting. He was looking forward to getting back out there and beating up on some bucketheads. That would never get old!  
  
 And he really hoped he got a chance to have a direct go at Thrawn. His hackles still rose when he remembered first seeing a very bruised and battered Kallus emerge from that escape pod onto the bridge of the _Ghost_ , in pain, utterly exhausted, and nearer to a breakdown than the ex-agent had been willing to admit at the time.  
  
 When that breakdown came, it had been Zeb that had sat up with Kallus, comforting him through it. That had been a bloody rough night. He sincerely hoped he never had to see the poor man in such a state ever again.  
  
 Yeah. That blue-skinned bastard was gonna pay. No two ways about it.  
  
 "Garazeb?"  
  
 Zeb's ears twitched at the sound of his name being called. He looked around and didn't bother to smother the wide grin that spread across his face when he saw Kallus coming toward him from across the way.  
  
 "Hey, there, Captain. The big shots turn ya loose early? Karabast, but you intel folks have it easy," he teased good-naturedly.  
  
 "Off-duty the rest of the day," Kallus confirmed, the relief evident in his voice. "You?"  
  
 "Nothin' they need me for right this second." Zeb scratched the back of his neck. "Helped with some barracks construction earlier. Gave Rex a hand in gettin' the newbies squared away, that kinda thing. Riveting stuff, Bet you're sorry ya missed it."  
  
 "Devastated," Kallus deadpanned as they fell effortlessly into step beside one another. "But, umm, I am glad that you're not occupied at the moment." Gold eyes met Zeb's green ones, the expression in them unreadable. Kallus glanced around and continued in a lower tone, as if to avoid being overheard. "I was wondering if perhaps we could go somewhere and talk. It occurred to me that we haven't really had the opportunity to. Since that first night after I was rescued, I mean."  
  
 Zeb stopped, immediately concerned, and placed a larger-than-human hand on Kallus' shoulder. "You alright, mate? Nobody's been given ya a hard time again, have they?" He snorted. "Am I gonna have to knock a few skulls together for ya?"  
  
 When they had first arrived on Yavin IV, there had been people who hadn't reacted well to suddenly having a former Imperial ISB agent among them, Fulcrum or not. There had been a few nasty incidents that had required Zeb and the others to intervene, both verbally and physically. Thankfully, those had ceased quickly. Kanan was formidable when he was angry, Hera kriffing _terrifying_ , but it was the _don't-you-dare-mess-with-him_ growls from the big Lasat with a hand on his bo-rifle that had brought the agressors to their senses in a hurry.  
  
 A tiny twitch of his lips betraying his amusement at the memory of Zeb defending his honor, Kallus shook his head. "No, nothing like that," he reassured. "Everyone's been perfectly pleasant to me. I've just been feeling a bit.... _unsettled_ , I suppose is the right word." He shrugged. "You said if I ever needed to talk, I could come to you."  
  
 "That I did. And here I am." Zeb led Kallus well away from the hustle and bustle. He had figured out that crowds made Kallus nervous these days. "Let's go see if there's an empty office or somethin' we can use." Something about the way Kallus said _unsettled_ started a knot forming in Zeb's stomach.  
  
 "Actually, I think I'd prefer to take a walk in the jungle. Somewhere we can hear ourselves think," Kallus said. "Have you seen the smaller Massassi temples out there? They're quite remarkable."  
  
 "Haven't had much time for sight-seein', have I?" replied Zeb. "Too busy with everythin' else. I know Kanan and Ezra explored a few when we first got here. Y'know how Jedi are."  
  
 "I'm learning." The two shared a smile at that. Kallus was just as baffled by some of Ezra and Kanan's Jedi abilities and eccentricities as Zeb was. Probably more so, truth be told. Zeb had lost count of how many times Kallus had looked at him with an expression that clearly said _What in the galaxy are they doing now?_ whenever Master and Padawan were doing something mere mortals would deem insane. Or just plain stupid. Whichever.  
  
 A little while later, the two entered a small clearing a good ways into the jungle in which sat a small, semi-ruined temple. Zeb and Kallus wandered around it, not daring to explore inside for fear of the structure being less than sound.  
  
 "Been a long time since I saw a temple up close," Zeb mused, running a reverent hand over the temple's weathered stones. "Makes me think of the temples to the Ashla back on Lasan. Always liked 'em. Somethin' comforting about temples. I'm not a big one for gods and the like, but I did enjoy goin' to the ceremonies on special occasions with the royal family. Not too many of my fellow Guardsmen cared for it, though. Complained they were bored out of their minds."  
  
 "I remember the Jedi Temple on Coruscant," Kallus replied as the two settled down on the ground, their backs resting against the temple's sun-warmed western side. "It was amazing to look at. I wonder if Kanan spent much time there?"  
  
 "Probably did. But I don't think it's temples and higher powers you were wantin' to talk about," said Zeb, looking sideways at the human sitting beside him. "What's goin' on with ya? What's got ya so 'unsettled,' as ya put it?" He nudged Kallus' shoulder with his. "Ya know ya can tell me anything, right?"  
  
 Kallus nodded. "I do." He stared off into the distance for a few heartbeats, considering. He took a deep breath, and heaved a tired sigh before meeting the Lasat's gaze. " "Do you ever feel like your future is behind you, Garazeb?"  
  
 Zeb's brow furrowed. He was pretty sure he got the gist of what it was that Kallus was asking him. Anyone who had lived lives like theirs would understand, he supposed. "I did. Once," he admitted truthfully, his thoughts flying back across the tumultuous years of his life since the fall of Lasan and the dark days that had followed. "Thought that for a while until Kanan found me. Not now. Now I know better," he said with conviction.  
  
 "I know I shouldn't feel that way," Kallus said hurriedly, seeming to Zeb to be having trouble putting his thoughts into something that made sense outside of his own mind and that wouldn't come off as sounding weak, or even worse, self-pitying. "Logically, anyway. I know it's ridiculous to think that there's no future for me. Why wouldn't there be?" He forced a chuckle. "Forgive me. I'm talking nonsense. I-" The ex-agent was clearly getting agitated, his posture stiffening. The big Lasat's superior hearing could probably even pick up the sound of his heart starting to beat just that little bit faster.  
  
 "It ain't ridiculous," Zeb interrupted him, sensing that Kallus might be on the verge of what he knew from his own experience to be a panic attack. "Nothin' you're feelin' is ridiculous," he reassured him, his tone pitched low and soothing, his hand instinctively moving to grip one of Kallus'. Some part of his mind noted that Kallus was the only person he _ever_ used that particular voice with. He was pretty sure he knew why, but that was a conversation for another time. "What's got ya feelin' that way?" he prompted quietly. "You said no one's been treatin' ya badly, so you're gonna have to help me out here." He grinned, trying to lighten the mood. "Chop likes to insinuate that I'm all muscle and no brains."  
  
 The silly comment had the desired effect. Kallus allowed a tiny smile to briefly flash across his face, lighting up his eyes like sunlight through amber. "You're the farthest thing from stupid, Zeb, trust me. Sometimes when I'm not otherwise occupied, I just sit and wonder what the hell it is I'm doing. I served the Empire for what amounts to basically my entire adult life. I did terrible things. You of all people know that. I obeyed orders that I had no business obeying. I was a cog in a machine that left nothing but destruction in its wake, even as it proclaimed that it aspired only to bring peace and order. I almost _killed_ you. I would have, if Ezra hadn't intervened. I thought about it on Bahryn. And yet, here I sit. Safe beside the one person in all the galaxy with the greatest reasons to hate me." Kallus met Zeb's eyes again. "And yet he doesn't." he said in a voice barely above a whisper, the words _and I don't understand why_ hung unspoken in the air between them, though Zeb didn't miss them.  
  
 Karabast, they might as well have been a blaring klaxon in his head.  
  
 Zeb shifted so that he sat fully facing the man. He tilted his head and studied Kallus for a few moments, his brain kicking into overdrive. Kallus mirrored his posture, neither one of them appearing to notice that Zeb had not let go of Kallus' hand.  
  
 "It's not a future with the Rebellion that you're worried about not havin', is it?" Zeb ventured, choosing his words carefully. He hadn't meant to bring anything so personal as feelings that went beyond friendship into what he'd thought was a conversation about guilt and being afraid of not fitting into a new life with the Rebellion on Kallus' part, but here he was. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Kallus off, or cause him to close off from him. To keep tormenting himself in silence. When Kallus didn't respond right away, Zeb tightened his grip on the human's hand. "Alexsandr? What's _really_ goin' on here? This ain't about what I've been thinkin' it is, is it? Not entirely, anyway."  
  
 "I've never much cared for my first name, you know," Kallus murmured pensively, "but I think I like it when you're the one using it." He glanced down at their joined hands, marveling that such a large hand could hold his own in such a gentle grip. He could feel the warmth of the big Lasat's hand through his fingerless gloves. He quite liked it. "It's not _all_ about my, uh, professional future, no," he continued, looking up again. "Though I _do_ worry about that, of course. About being the best asset to the Rebellion that it's possible for me to be. I owe you all that much after Hera and Kanan took me in, accepted me as one of their own. I hope in time everyone can accept me. But, Zeb, you must know, _surely you must_ , that I became Fulcrum because of _you._ _For_ you. I did it for you."  
  
 Zeb shook his head. "Ya did it for you, too, ya know. I just gave ya a little nudge in the right direction, is all. You would've come over to our side eventually. I ain't that persuasive," he muttered self-deprecatingly.  
  
 Kallus smiled gently at the Lasat, moving just that little bit closer to him. "Zeb. You took a lifelong Imperial, a dedicated one, at that, and you opened his eyes to truths he'd always known, but couldn't, _wouldn't_ acknowledge to himself, all in the space of a single cold night spent on that icy hell-ball." He bit his lip, hesitating, but forced himself to go on. "You turned him. You, uh...turned his heart. And in so doing, claimed it for your own. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? I'm not very good at this kind of thing." He was horribly cognizant of the fact that he was blushing. "I just....I care for you, Garazeb Orrelios. Quite a lot, actually." He swallowed hard. "Everything I am now is because of you. You saved me, in all the ways that a person can be saved. And I couldn't be more grateful."  
  
 Zeb sat dumbfounded for a few tense seconds. It was rare that he found himself speechless, but Kallus' confession had totally taken him by surprise. He'd suspected that there had been something brewing between them (for how long he couldn't say), but to be told that the ex-agent had feelings for him? A part of his mind wondered if he wasn't asleep and dreaming. He was tempted to pinch himself, just to be on the safe side. "Are you sayin' that you're...oh, karabast. Are you tryin' to tell me that you're in _love_ with me?"  
  
 He was dreaming. He was asleep and this entire conversation was a wonderful dream. He'd wake up any second and he'd be alone in his bunk wishing it was all real. Because he had to be dreaming, right? Things this amazing just didn't happen to folks in real life. Love was the stuff of those kriffing awful holodramas that Hera and Sabine liked to watch on their downtime that Ezra made merciless fun of.  
  
 It wasn't meant for warriors like him and Kallus.  
  
 Was it?  
  
 Kallus taking hold of Zeb's other hand brought him back to the moment. "Yes, Zeb. That's exactly what I'm saying." He laughed nervously, hideously aware that he sounded like a bloody schoolboy, hoping Zeb didn't notice his trembling hands. "And unless my skills for reading people have utterly failed me, I think you might be in love with me, as well. If, however, I am mistaken, I swear I will get up right now, apologize, walk away, and we will never speak of this again. We will part as friends, and we won't-"  
  
 He was cut off by Zeb (who had apparently decided that actions spoke louder than any words ever could) grabbing tight hold of him and pulling him into a desperate embrace, all words between them lost as Zeb kissed him to the Unknown Regions and back.  
  
 It felt to Kallus as if the entire galaxy had started spinning infinitely fast. He melted into the Lasat's arms, kissing Zeb back with a passion he hadn't realized that he was capable of. The tiny part of his mind not completely caught up in just _Zeb_ reflected that those who had described him as cold and incapable of feeling anything of the softer emotions would eat their code cylinders if they saw him right now. He had no idea how much time passed as he and Zeb let themselves get lost in each other. As overdramatic as it sounded, it really did feel as if they were the only two beings left in the universe.  
  
 When Zeb finally loosened his hold and the two broke apart to breathe, he rested his forehead against Kallus', purring contentedly. "Oh, yeah," he said, "I'm definitely in love with ya. Have been for ages. Just can't believe you feel the same way." He nuzzled the human in his arms affectionately. "I musta done somethin' really good for the Ashla to bless me like this."  
  
 "Mmm," Kallus hummed in agreement. "You must have." He rested his head on Zeb's shoulder, enjoying the feel of his fur against his face. He tried not to ruin the moment by letting his mind wonder about how that fur would feel against his entire body. They had only just declared themselves, after all.  
  
 They sat in companionable silence for a while, each lost in his own thoughts, but more together than they had ever been. Zeb broke the quiet first, shifting to meet those golden eyes that he was thoroughly captivated by. "Feeling better now? Not so unsettled?"  
  
 Kallus considered. "I think so, now that I know where we stand with each other, but as for fitting in with the Rebellion, serving the cause.....I don't know. I still feel like perhaps I shouldn't be here. You and Hera and the others have forgiven me my Imperial transgressions. Mon Mothma, Senator Organa, General Dodonna....I know they see something in me, but how can I ever make amends for all the things I've done? It would take another lifetime of service to do that. Even when I've tried to help, to save lives, I've inadvertently created disasters. Atollon is a prime example, Zeb."  
  
 "Did ya ever stop and think that just maybe you've done all the atoning you really need to?" asked Zeb, his arm a comforting weight around the human's shoulders. "And for the thousandth time, Atollon is not your fault, okay? It was only a matter of time before Thrawn put two and two together, so stop torturin' yourself over it. You've been making up for your past since you became Fulcrum. You've saved a lot of lives, and I don't mean just our friends. Gotta be loads of beings out there who are still alive because Fulcrum came through for them. That counts for a kriffin' lot in my book." He reached over and tapped a clawed finger on Kallus' rank tiles. "You earned this rank plaque, y'know. You got just as much right to wear it as I do to carry my bo-rifle. So do me a favor and put that 'my future is behind me' stuff out of your head. That's not the case at all, I promise ya."  
  
 "Easier said than done."  
  
 "Maybe," Zeb conceded. "But you're still adjusting. Not gonna happen overnight. This is a new world for you. Gonna take time to get used to livin' in it. That's pretty much how I felt when Kanan and Hera recruited me. Took a little while, but I found my new purpose. They were there for me, and now we're all here for you. It's gonna be okay. You just have to believe that. And be patient with yourself."  
  
 "You're a very wise man, Garazeb Orrelios. Has anyone ever told you that?"  
  
 Zeb barked a laugh. "Me? Wise? You get yourself another concussion I don't know about?" He shook his head. "Just experience talkin'. You're not alone anymore. You got me. And you got friends who care a lot about you even if they don't say it, or have crazy ways of showin' it."  
  
 "Ah. So that's why Chopper is so nice to me. Because he cares. I'd wondered."  
  
 "Chopper treats you decent because I threatened to bash him into scrap if he so much as thought about messin' with you," corrected Zeb, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. "Little menace has good self-preservation instincts for a droid."  
  
 Kallus chuckled. "What an odd family I've been adopted into."  
  
 Zeb's expression turned serious again. "But like I was sayin': it won't be easy, but you gotta let go of the past and not look back over your shoulder at it all the time, alright? You're not the Kallus who hunted us down, who tried to kill me on Lothal. You're not the Kallus who fought me in that escape pod and snarked and postured at me on that Ashla-forsaken moon." He drew the human closer to him again. "You're Alexsandr. Spectre Seven. Rebel fighter. And most important, you're _mine_."  
  
 "You're very possessive, aren't you?" Kallus nestled into his partner's embrace. "Not that I mind." He sighed, the emotional and mental strain of the last few weeks catching up with him. He felt drained. "I'm very happy to be yours. I'm going to need you, need your strength, your love, to get through this bloody war with my sanity intact."  
  
 "You have me," Zeb swore softly. "I haven't said it to many in my time, but I love you. Never doubt that." He left off telling Kallus that Lasat mated for life. They'd save that discussion for another time.  
  
 "And I, you, Zeb."  
  
 They subsided into silence again, curled around each other as the sun began to set behind the jungle treetops. Zeb thought he could easily get addicted to holding Kallus. It felt so good to be together like this. It reminded him vaguely of their falling asleep against each other back on Bahryn. He knew that if they fell asleep like that now, neither would push the other away.  
  
 It would be lovely not to sleep alone anymore.  
  
 Kallus stirred as the sunset painted the sky over Yavin IV with shades of fire. "It'll be dark soon," he murmured. "We should head back."  
  
 Zeb smiled, unable to resist saying, "Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark."  
  
 "No," Kallus answered, meeting the Lasat's green gaze. "Not anymore."  
  


  
The End

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
